You Don’t Need to Fix Your Emotions — You Need to Meet Them
Dear Friend,
I received a comment on my previous post and felt called to respond through this article, because I believe it speaks to something many of us experience.
The comment was:
“I do wonder though, if my allowance of myself to sit in these emotions is truly a way to breathe and notice them — or if I am simply delaying the change I so desperately strive for.
I switch between observing my past as something that happened to me and seeing it as an undeniable, shameful part of me.
Healing requires patience, yet impatience and guilt so often take over.”
Most of us, if not all, experience moments like this.
Usually, we identify with what we feel. And from that identification, more thoughts arise, thoughts shaped by the emotion itself — and we enter a vicious cycle. It feels as though we sink deeper into a rut.
But being with an emotion is not the same as being swept away by it. It means noticing it.
How does it feel right now?
Where does it show up in the body?
Bring attention to what is truly present in this moment. The stories in our mind are interpretations but the feeling itself is real in the now.
There is no need to judge whether it is good or bad. No need to push it away. Healing is not about keeping only the parts of ourselves we call “light,” but learning to sit gently with both light and shadow.
Our past does not need to be judged or rejected. Most of us may have gone through experiences which we may not be happy about but the pain often comes less from what happened, and more from the story we build around it, the belief that it defines who we are.
This may sound counter-intuitive, but completely relaxing into what is helps us free ourselves from the grip of emotion. When we stop fighting our own experience, shame softens. And in that softening, acceptance begins.
Simply notice.
You may find that this simple allowing brings the mind to rest. And in that rest, peace quietly emerges.
We often think we must do something to change how we feel. Yet sometimes it is through acceptance, through surrender to what is already here, that the grip of the emotion begins to loosen, and space opens for peace.
Yes, at times we may be taken over by the emotion, it happens, and its alright. As soon as we become aware we are taken over, we simply start noticing again. It is a journey, we will have to be patient with ourselves.
Bring love to all parts of you, without labeling one part as good or bad. Don’t reject what you find shameful or cling only to what you find beautiful. Accept. Allow each part of you to come home to you.
- From the Book “Letters From The Beloved”
Grateful to the soul who shared their heart in the comments, inspiring this article for the benefit of all.
Lots of Love,
Varun Jain
